Give yourself a break

Firstly, hey, I know I haven't posted in a while and that's my bad. I created this blog as a way to get my own feelings out but also hopefully help others and I felt that I couldn't help others if I wasn't okay myself.

Last couple weeks I have been struggling quite a bit with lock down and my own motivation has gone out the window - I haven't really done any writing, my blog, my music or anything.

BUT ANYWHOOO

I'm feeling more positive and I'm ready to start blogging again!

So today I just want to share a couple things: mainly the things I've done that made me feel low and the things I've done to get back out of it. So, basically things to do and not to do!

Also, little side note, at the moment this blog is mainly about mental health as I think this is something people will benefit from as I know a lot of people are struggling due to this pandemic but I have so many ideas for future blogs including, about me, skincare, travel, funny stories etc etc so if mental health doesn't really affect you don't worry it won't be like this always.

Lately, my motivation just hasn't been there and - from speaking to other people - I think this is quite normal. Hardly anyone is actually used to being locked in the house not being able to do anything for this amount of time.

Its hard to get up and get dressed when there is nothing to do - it was making me feel lazy, unhappy and irritated. Then I realised something - we have never been through a pandemic before, this is a completely new experience for us all so we need to give ourselves a breaaaak!

We feel guilty for not acting normal but our situation ISN'T NORMAL!

I know personally what I've found hardest is holding proper conversations with people, on text or on the phone. I'm such a social butterfly that I love talking to the people I love but when none of us have nothing to do or say it makes conversations strained. This causes an annoying cycle of not replying - guilt - feeling down - having no motivation - not replying and on and on.

So I actually spoke up about it to a couple people and found out that they felt exactly the same way, none of us know what to do and none of us should feel guilty for that.

There is, however, certain triggers and things that did contribute to this lack of motivation:

An unhealthy relationship with Just Eat: I don't know about anyone else, but I have NEVER consumed as many takeaways before as I have in the past couple months. A pizza one day, Chinese the next, a maccies for lunch and it soon adds up. Not only has it ate away at my bank account its made me feel bloated, lethargic and contributed to me not wanting to do anything! By forcing myself to stop the ordering and eat home cooked meals I've been able to treat myself to other things I love (clothes, makeup etc) and when I do have a takeaway it tastes so much better!

Alcohol: I've said before that I am a very social person, but usually I only drink when I'm going out or the odd one if I'm out for dinner, However, during lock down I can easily do a bottle of wine to myself whilst watching a film. This has not been healthy at all - alcohol is a depressant and may be nice on the night but the anxiety and depression you will feel the next day is just not worth it.

PJ days: I will always remember when I was doing my exams being told that when I revised I should wear my shoes as the brain associates it with being busy - I believe that the same goes for clothes. I've been waking up and deciding to stay in my PJ's which means my brain thinks i'm ready for bed - it has caused me to feel tired and unmotivated and all the things I wanted to achieve that day have gone out of the window. Even if you just change into some lounge gear you will feel more awake and ready to confront the day - also make your bed, it will deter you from getting back in it!

Being mean to myself: Before I realised I needed to give myself a break I was feeling so guilty for not doing everything i'd set my mind to every day. I was annoyed at myself, which made me just want to do nothing and became a vicious cycle. But realising that I am going to have up and down days is the most important thing!

Loving a nap: Like every 21 year old girl I LOVE a nap, but it was starting to become unhealthy - I would wake up at like 11am, chill for a few hours then end up falling asleep early evening for a couple hours - because of this i'd be up until about 3am and the cycle would continue to the following day. I now force myself to stay awake (by getting up and dressed) it means I've been sleeping earlier, waking up more rejuvenated and not feeling guilty for missing most of the day and getting nothing done!

Cancelling: Obviously, once lock down eased slightly (lol back in Lock down now pray for LC) I was able to go out and see people a bit more as long as I socially distanced, however, every single time I woke up knowing I'd made plans, a little voice was telling me to cancel. My energy just wasn't there and I thought I would be boring and bad company, however, every time I actually went through with the plans, I felt so good, had a fab time and came home feeling like I had really done something good with my day!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying avoid the above completely, of course its okay to have some chill days and have a cheeky takeaway now and then but when you realise its becoming a daily habit, forcing yourself to change those habits will greatly improve your mood and outlook on life. It's so easy to fall into an unhealthy lifestyle at the moment but as long as you acknowledge changes need to be made, that's always the first step!

Now lets stop the doom n gloom - below is a couple things I've done which have really helped improved my mood:

To-do lists: I've actually invested in a daily planner where I write down my goals for the day, month, year and important tasks that I can't forget. It makes me feel like I have more structure to my day and makes me more excited to achieve those things! Its also such a good wind down at the end of the night, in bed before you go to sleep tick off all the things you achieved that day and make your list for tomorrow - will get you ready to start your next day off well!

Something new: We are probably not going to have this length of time at home until we retire now so its the perfect time to start something new. Obviously at the start of lock down I started my music page and my blog! But now I've actually started to grow my Instagram account and have been lucky enough to now be working with some amazing brands and promoting their stuff! This was something I've always wished I could do but my excuse was always - I don't have time. When in reality it was fear holing me back (what will people say, will I fail etc etc) but now having this time I couldn't use that excuse and I'm so glad I took the plunge! So that one thing you've always wanted to do/start - DO IT! You have no excuse anymore!

Reaching out: I've said it before and I'll say it a million times - it's okay not to be okay! If your not okay its okay to reach out to those around you! People who truly love you will be able to help you, offer words of comfort or just understand that you need your own space. Your own mental and physical well being needs to be your main priority, the same as everyone else. Think of it this way, if your friend came to you and said they were struggling, would your first reaction be to turn them away? Complain about giving them space? No? Then what makes you think they will do the same to you.

Exercise: Now this is a little hypocritical of me as I have completely fallen off the exercise wagon but when I was doing it it made me feel so so SO much better. I would do it first thing when I got up and it made me feel ready for the day and more positive. It made me feel so good and I felt like i'd actually done something productive. Plus, when I saw results I started to feel so much more excited to carry on. I WILL GET BACK ON IT!

Yoga & Meditation: Again, i'm a mad hypocrite because I stopped (which made me feel rubbish so shows it works) Meditation and Yoga are incredible - both to get ready for the day or wind down at night. It helped me sleep better, feel like my mind was calmer and it was so nice to have a bit of ME time where I looked after my own mind even if it was only for an hour a day. Personally I love the app Insight Timer for meditation and Yoga with Adrienne for Yoga! If you suffer with mental health I actually cannot recommend this enough, it really will help your mind feel calmer and give you a little bit of peace!

Obviously, I'm not expert or a professional but the above really have either brought me down or brought me up so I really would recommend. But just remember

This won't be forever.

We will come out the other side.

And we will hug our loved ones a little tighter because of it.

Stay happy and stay safe xxxxx

Neve xo