Welcome to my Blog - Living in a Global Pandemic with OCD

Okay, so, as you can probably tell lock down has become super boring so I thought, hey why not start a blog.

Never done one of these before so if I'm honest i'm not too sure how to even start - so I'm guessing I should just introduce myself and tell you a bit about me? So i'm Neve, i'm currently 21 living in Leicester, England and, just like everyone else i'm stuck in lock down. Only difference is I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) so this whole thing is pretty much my worst nightmare.

Before I tell you what its like I just wanna say I am NOT a qualified professional - any tips I give are purely what I have found that helps me or skills I learnt during my time in Cogitative Behavioural Therapy. All opinions are my own and this whole blog is just a bit of fun but if I could help anyone else in the meantime then i would actually love that.

This blog is basically gonna be a lifestyle blog, about me, about how I have coped with this lock down and just try and make talking about mental health a little less taboo.

I'm going to start with what OCD is - the below images sum it up pretty well.

Also below shows what misconceptions people have about OCD. If you have these misconceptions, that is not your fault - this is the way society and the media have portrayed it. If you ever have any questions please don't be afraid to ask - we would much rather people know what its like rather than hearing "i'm so OCD" on a daily basis because you like to have you pens in size order ...

So yeah basically that's that. Personally, I have suffered with a majority of these types of OCD from a compulsion with germs, intrusive thoughts, rituals, obsessions and much more. As a child/teenager it made things really hard and I did isolate myself a lot due to it - I am a lot better now but it is still a battle I fight every day. Some days I win, others I lose. But i'm a fighter and always will be. I was put in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which was so hard but quite honestly saved my life. If you wanna learn anything more about CBT click here.

So, back on track...I first learnt about Corona Virus on Twitter when it was still isolated within Wuhan, China. Straight away it sent the panic alarms off in my brain.

Legit, everyone at work was talking about it and every day it seemed to be getting closer until finally I learnt it was in England. Fab.

One thing you should know about me, I am a huge horror fanatic. Ghosts, vampires, werewolves, demons, I can watch them films all the time, on my own, in the dark. It doesn't phase me in the slightest. But the one genre I CANNOT watch is end of the world films. Anything to do with natural disasters, viruses, bacteria spreading, global panic. Nope. No thanks. Not for me. Its 2020 and I still haven't plucked up the courage to watch 2012. And here I was in a bloody GLOBAL PANDEMIC!!!! I actually thought i'd died and gone to Hell because this was it for me.

But I did what I learnt to do through all the years of dealing with this illness - i put on a fake smile, washed my hands 49741 a day and cried in my room, the work bathroom and finally to my mum when the panic bubbled over. I just lived life with an underlying sense of panic but hid it as best I could, not very well as it turned out. Until my worst nightmare pretty much came true.

I was woken by the sound of consistent coughing coming from the next room.

Yup, it was in my house. My mum woke up with all the symptoms of corona virus and I felt like my brain broke. (btw my mum was never tested as this was right at the start but she's completely fine now - she's young and healthy so there was never any real concern for her getting any worse)

The fact that it was supposedly in my own house made me feel like there was no safe space. My hands were cracked, sore and red from over washing, I couldn't go near my mum who is my support system, I couldn't leave the house, I couldn't escape the nightmare I was in.

If i'm honest, I didn't handle it too well - I did what I always do, dropped back into my rituals, stayed in my room and panicked. That was life for a while - I didn't really have any other option. But with the support of my parents, friends, work and family i'm doing a lot lot better.

Don't worry this whole blog isn't gonna be all doom and gloom - this is just the start :) Next time i'll be talking about how I have learnt to deal with things and actually get to a healthy level of coping.

For now, if you are struggling here's just a couple things that help me:

• Meditation - download the app 'Insight Timer' wow sleep was just so much easier

• Yoga - downtime for yourself, get more flexible, fitter and feel your mind clear

• Cold water - when panicking, submerging my hands in cold water seems to calm me, i'm not sure why but I think it may be because the cooling feeling helps to counteract the overheating sensation that comes with anxiety

• Exercise - I know everyone says this and I am the LAZIEST person ever, but when i began to work out the endorphins made me feel so much better.

• Talking - your family and friends do care, just a simple "i'm not okay can we talk?" can go a long way. If you know anyone that might be struggling, reach out, you will be a lifeboat in this storm.

• Singing - singing is something that helps me because it makes me happy, so I guess what i'm saying is find something within your life that sparks joy - are you a painter, writer, cook, musician? you don't have to excel but as long as it sparks joy in you, GO WITH IT

• Projects - pretty similar to the last one but I find that if I set myself goals and projects it creates calm within me as I can work towards something

I really hope you enjoyed this first entry, just a little look into what life is like when dealing with a mental health illness. I'm gonna continue just talking about things that have helped me, how i'm getting on and other parts of my life i think you may enjoy.

But in the meantime, if you are dealing with any type of mental illness, struggling with lock down or just finding life a little tough at the moment. I'm so proud of you, you are strong, beautiful and brave.

Stay safe, happy and kind xxx